I was trying to paint a picture today, but seems the color i was using was just a pigment of my imagination...

 

He yells, he screams, he takes people apart and he is just extremely annoying. What's not to love? And I always feel so relaxed when I hear one of his rants , with the spit hitting the monitor glass from within. I am such a mellow person, a model of good behavior, a beacon of keeping your temper. Well, compared to HIM.

 

 

You cant sell news stories that have data and cautious predictions. Where is the panic? Where is the impending doom? C'mon people , give me something to work with here…

    Opinions / Science / Theory of Relative Ignorance  

Lewis Black - Dreydle dreydle

And another Jewish comedian complaining about everything. Do we REALLY need another one of those? YES we do. Because they are hilarious. And usually smarter. Well, actually that is a misconception, a prejudice. Not that it is a bad prejudice to have , and as someone with Jewish roots I don’t really object that much.
But it is a misconception. Jews look so smart only when they are surrounded by gentiles.

 

I heard that and my teeth tried to reach around and eat my own brain, just to put me out of my misery."

 

And Lewis black is not a gentile, I can tell you that. You need the old testament god on your side in order to make that material work. You need to be one of the chosen people to be that obnoxious and loud and still make people love you unconditionally.

 

We are all shitty little snowflakes dancing in the universe."

 

He yells, he screams, he takes people apart and he is just extremely annoying. What's not to love? And I always feel so relaxed when I hear one of his rants , with the spit hitting the monitor glass from within. I am such a mellow person, a model of good behavior, a beacon of keeping your temper. Well, compared to HIM.

 

 

Was the earth created in seven days? No. For those of you who believe it was, for you Christians, let me tell you, that you do not understand the Jewish people.

We Jews understand that it did not take place in seven days, and that's because we know what we're good at, and what we're really good at is bullshit.

This is a wonderful story that was told to the people in the desert in order to distract them from the fact that they did not have air conditioning. )

 

The fact he looks like my accountant, or at least like how I expect my accountant to look like if I could afford one, just makes it all much more effective. Whenever I stand in line at the bank or the post office I look around hoping to see someone who might snap and go into a Lewis black rant for half an hour, but am usually sorely disappointed.

But that is exactly how he looks, like a guy who stood before you in the line for the last forty minutes and has finally lost it, turned to you, and is now preaching and letting off steam that was built up in long years of silent desperation in a world full of idiots and thieves.

Maybe tomorrow I will go to the post office.
Saturday is a busy day, and I feel lucky.

 

If you listen to a song and get an image in your head, and then you go home and watch mtv and the image they're showing is the same as the one in your head, kill yourself.
You're better off coming back as a lobster.”

 

Jewish culture shock http://youtu.be/-o1SwGK8Gf4
Scientology http://youtu.be/-eQlaVkFpHo
Early stand up http://youtu.be/jLLln3v9iFM
Televangelists http://youtu.be/C4ZoPfK9MmQ
Gay marriage http://youtu.be/3ANrvQC4wIk