I was trying to paint a picture today, but seems the color i was using was just a pigment of my imagination...

 

It's not that he is the reincarnation of Hendrix and bill hicks coming back to haunt the comedy clubs, but he does manage to write songs which stand for themselves as real songs while still cracking your ribs.

 

 

You cant sell news stories that have data and cautious predictions. Where is the panic? Where is the impending doom? C'mon people , give me something to work with here…

    Opinions / Science / Theory of Relative Ignorance  

Stephen Lynch - Song of Silliness

When I see a standup comedian with a guitar I immediately start to slowly make my way towards the exit, before it starts. Stefan Lynch is one of the few exceptions.

It's not that he is the reincarnation of Hendrix and bill hicks coming back to haunt the comedy clubs, but he does manage to write songs which stand for themselves as real songs while still cracking your ribs.

 

My real name is Beelzebub,
but you can call me Beelz
I love to watch Fox news
and then go club some baby seals

Then I'll take a bubble bath
and drink a zinfandel
Try to wash off that baby seal smell
And then I'll make a toast to me
Hey, here's to my hell..

 

One, guy, one acoustic guitar and several innocent-seeming expressions is all it takes and when you have love songs like 'I think you're a Nazi' and the old crowd pleaser, the gospel of Craig Christ, Jesus' hard partying hard playing younger brother, how can you lose?

 
 

I have to thank comedy central for making those wonderful 'specials' (pun intended) and introducing me to the musical twisted world of Mr. lynch, for YouTube for being YouTube and supplying us with an amazing array of live comedy performances videos right up to our mouse, and for my wife for being at home so I can't watch porn and have to look up comedy videos instead.

 

Hush little girl, sweet baby don't cry, tonight / daddy will sing you a soft lullaby, tonight /
Why can't it all, be like it was before? /
How can I explain mommy's not here anymore? /

'Cuz daddy likes porno and ten-dollar whores / daddy gets wasted and robs liquor stores /
daddy likes rubbing against little boys on the bus /
I think that's why mommy left us /
Mommy left us / Hush...

 

And now, just listen. (Oh, and don’t drink anything while you watch. It might come flying out of your nose. Don’t say I didn’t warn you.)

Somehow when you sing things they seem less horrible. Well, for the first couple of seconds at least, until your brain catches up with what is happening. Nazis, sex, devils, dying relatives, brown girls, mentally challenged, virgins…anything goes. The problem is that some of them are indeed catchy tunes and they haunt you. At least it is not the white bed sheet chain rattling ghosts, just the disturbing imagery and the occasional giggle.

 

Everyone knows Jesus
The guy who healed the lame
Well I am Jesus' brother
Craig is my name

Jesus is the prince of peace
Jesus is the lamb
Jesus is the son of god
But Craig don't give a damn

Because when Craig's in sight
We'll party all damn night
I don't turn water into wine
but into Cold Coors Light
I'm not my brother I know,
don't walk on H20
But I got hydroponic shit
that me and Judas grow

I'm fuckin' Craig
Yeah I'm fuckin' Craig
Craig Christ

I hang out with Leppers
Barabas and Sodomay
Jesus' friends are called apostles
Those dudes are totally gay

Jesus performs miracles
From Galilee to Rome
But it would be a miracle
If he brought a fuckin' lady home

Because while Jesus is prayin'
fuckin' Craig is layin'
Every lady in the testament
you know what I'm sayin'
I won't die for your sin,
like my famous kin,
But if you've got a younger sister
then there's room at THIS inn

...Jesus was our mother's fave
All her love to him she gave
But theres no sibling rivalry
When hes nailed to that tree

 

Craig Christ- http://youtu.be/pPdFrW076R0
I think you're a Nazi- http://youtu.be/tJ5hXwo4De0
Beelze - http://youtu.be/xV5nZxwRESQ