For a minute there, I thought it was just a stewart / Colbert overdose and that I might need some other sources of information, but after a short research, my deepest doubts were confirmed. Reality is indeed funnier and more absurd than any satirical television show.
As I was watching the media circus going on around that developing country south of Canada, I found myself time after time, rubbing my eyes and sticking forks in my ears trying to compute what is going on with these idiots. It is not that I have ever expected much of republicans, and gun totting gay bashing right stomping masses were never my cup of tea, if you excuse the pun, but the visions and sounds that are being flatulated unto the unsuspecting screens around the world are on an entirely different scale than what I am used too.
I was sitting there in shock, seeing option after option proving to be not only far from president material, but not even close to any human standards of belonging to a society. One day, after the real wackos left the race, and the ones left were just as bad, and as another vile soundbyte quote hit my ear I understood. It literally hit me. When I got back up o was smiling in relief. I know what is happening here.
I have already said a long time ago that the whole democratic process is a big farce and completely meaningless, as both parties work for the same people, and the final results are always the same, no matter what color the illusion is. I think that the people who call the shots woke up one morning, looked at their balances and spreadsheets and said ahm. Wait a minute, this obama fellow is not that bad.
Let's see. The democrats are relatively happy as they think they are in charge. The blacks are relatively happy because the mocha one is close enough. As close as they will ever have, and they know it. the republicans are happy because they have someone they can furiously hate, the racists and the Catholics are happy because Satan is back and he's black. The corporates are happy because they got, as usual, what they want and everybody is happy happy happy.
Why ruin it? If we win, we have to start creating jobs, for god's sake, for all those…eeee…people. Workers. And they will want rights, and health. Ay ay ay, and we will have to do something with the education, after all, they are on to us, they understand what we did in the last twenty years, we will have to fix it now. No, no, no, winning is definitely not in our best interest.
Yes, let the "other republican" win again, it's best if he is there. We are too busy filibusting and super packing anyway, can't be bothered.
But how….how can we make sure there is no glitch in the system and we don’t end up winning? That would be such an embarrassment, I mean did you see who we propose to send to the white house, no, nobody wants to do that…
How, how can we make sure he is re-elected…ahm…I have an idea.
Mitt! Ricky! Come here for a second. Listen, I need you guys to be more in touch with yourselves. Don’t hold back, just…be yourself. Here's a mic. Ok guys, ready? Remember – four more years! Four more years!